Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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