I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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