she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
