Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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