Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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