so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
