Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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