I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
do herpes really smell.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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