I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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