Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
