I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
this will be a night to untag.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
