so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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