just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
