what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
