hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
