so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize