Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
