i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
