Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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