So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
