Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize