Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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