He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
