dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
