What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Michael Bay diarrhea
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Still dying that you shit outside
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
