Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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