i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
