A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
