Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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