You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
