mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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