yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
