this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
