Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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