Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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