Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize