Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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