that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
