dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
