that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
