Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
