rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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