Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
