Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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