margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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