i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.