The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
