I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
