We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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