Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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