Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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