girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
