I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
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