fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
