She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
