and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
