watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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