2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
