yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
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It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
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Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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