I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize