im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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