So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
