i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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