I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
