im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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