You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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